January 11, 2018
You didn’t want to hear yourself for you feared you might be crazy or at best, considered to be by others. You and all others do this to some extent or another, and if you were only to trust that “crazy” voice that you hear inside, you would create a much more pleasing and, in your terms, productive life.
The manner in which you have attempted not to hear that voice is by engaging in all types of distractions and your primary form of distraction has been substituting hearing yourself with any addiction. Those can take on any form, but they are all of a physical nature. When you are focused on those, you cannot hear that inner voice.
Eventually, you give this up because it becomes far too uncomfortable.