This message has been wanting to come through for quite a while, and you would do well to devour and savor it. There is nothing more important in your life than you feeling good and you are entitled to that.
For a long time in your life, you have discounted how you felt about many things in deference to others. You learned this from a very early age and practiced it so much that you no longer knew how you felt about anything, and when you did feel good, became uncomfortable with that.
Here is the big reveal. It is not possible for you to feel, know, own, and utilize your self-confidence, self-esteem, or feeling of worthiness in your life unless you follow how you feel and that is feeling good.