Knowing what you want and being able to manifest that is only a matter of you taking the steps that you know are right in front of you that will cause that to occur. It is no more complicated than that.
When you recognize and accept this, you know for sure what you have to do as well as what you have not been willing to do. You have given yourself enough experiences to know what you did not want, and that was valuable because it provided you with the awareness to make choices now for what you want. All of this is to say, it has only been you holding yourself back, but that is good news because now you know and there is no more mystery involved.