March 3, 2018
Everyone will develop and use their own habits of thought and patterns of behavior as they move toward whatever goal they have set in their lives. It is only important that you understand your habits of thought and patterns of behavior, and when you recognize this, you experience a sense of calm.
For you, a strong pattern you have set up is the need to be sure of your direction in life. So now you allow challenging and stressful experiences to show up so that you will know that if you continue, you are sure of the direction. The answer to why you have operated in this manner is you wanted to be sure.