This feels horrible, and that’s a good thing. Many times in your life you have reached a place where it seemed to you that you had been shoved into a corner, as it were, so that you were being forced to make a choice. You then experience a manner of paralyzing fear and find yourself unable to make that choice of where you want to go in your life.
Now the reasons for the fear are many, but you actually only need to resolve one to move through the others, or what could be thought of as your residual fears.
The main answer you seek and the one you are asking yourself is, if you believe that you deserve and are worthy of receiving that which you want in your life. Decide to answer that question first, and you will always know the choice to make in any situation.